Dec 18, 2013


An excerpt from my journal.  Written on 7/10/2013.
Today we learned that we are parents of two children. Our Sam and one more on the way.  I have been waiting for this day and now that it's here it feels a bit surreal.  I didn't really expect there to be a "plus" sign on the pregnancy test.  I did, but I didn't.  I peed on the stick in our hotel room and then went out to see Sam and Brian reading a book and Sam drinking his morning milk.  I let Brian go back in the bathroom.  He said, "Well, whatta ya know..." and I was kind of in shock. 
We sat on the hotel room floor.  Just outside the bathroom door.  Our little family of four.  Sam crawling all over us.
It doesn't feel real.  It is hard to imagine loving another little being as much as we love Sam.  It is hard to imagine a baby that is ours that isn't Sam. Sam is not a perfect baby, but he's our perfect baby.  I feel a bit sad for him to not get to be the baby for more than two years.  I am also so, so excited for him to get to experience siblinghood.  He will get to share so many things with his brother or sister.  He will have someone to commiserate with about the weird things their parents do.  He will have that special kind of love and hate and friendship that doesn't end.  They will have a bond that can't be duplicated. 
I am so thankful for this gift.  I am thankful for our fertility.  For my Brian.   For our marriage.  For our little Sam that makes us excited to be parents all over again.  I'm excited about all of the forward-thinking this day brings.  We are already talking about room arrangements and vehicles and home schooling and what Sam will be doing next March.  And what it will mean for us to be parents of two.
Two!  Wow.  How blessed we are.  To have a family to love and support us to have a family that already loves this little life.  This blessed little child. 
Welcome child.  You are coming into a world of love.  A family of love.  A family that is so excited to have a new member.  A family that is so excited to get to know you and squeeze you and learn all about you.  A family that is weird and silly and affectionate.  We love you.  We can't believe that we are so lucky to get to be your parents and your family.  Please know that we take your life into our hands carefully, with consideration.  We take responsibility for helping you learn about Jesus.  And about love and life. 
Welcome baby.  We can't wait to meet you. 

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